This is for rich people

I love articles that have these awesome tips for one to use in order to save energy.

The easiest (and most obvious) thing you can do is get up right now and unplug whatever you're not using. Candidates include:

* Your hand-held vacuum in its charging station
* Power drills
* Automatic coffee makers
* The VCR you haven't used in nearly a decade
* The TV that's collecting dust in the guest room
* The empty refrigerator in the garage

I have put the things that I do not have in bold. It's fine if you have these things. Maybe I even want some of these things (I don't). My apartment is such that the television does not stay plugged in. It has a cord that we stretch into the living room when we watch a DVD (or VHS tape). I like my coffee from a French Press and I know just how much water to boil (count to six... have I mentioned the obsessiveness?). You're damn right I have a drill but leaving it plugged in all the time is not a good idea. Batteries develop memories of how long they lasted from the time before to the time they get plugged in again. The poor really are the best environmentalists. It's not just a line, people. But never underestimate the obsessive people either.

The damp: When I went to the acupuncturist last time, we were discussing my allergies and I said it seemed like when it got gray out is when my sinus problems really kicked into overdrive. She said that in Chinese medicine there's a theory that some people have a dampness inside of them and so it when it gets damp out, it gets exacerbated. Ever since then, I've enjoyed affecting the accent of a grandpa, possibly from the south, then saying the following: "they say I've got the damp in me."

Aux Revoir, Faux Bois

I got a new, grown up job a few months ago and I ditched my old, punk rock bag for a new number. The new bag had a fake finish that looked like wood, which was kind of cool looking for about five minutes until it started flaking off everywhere but mostly on my ass. I see an angry letter materializing in the near future.

So I have come to a compromise of sorts where I will use my punk rock bag but remove all buttons. Also, why did I keep a toothbrush in that bag? Whore! No, I'm kidding. I'm just prepared. Because you never know when you might need to brush your teeth.

Which reminds me, at my last show I was up onstage, bantering about my merch and I said, "I also have some buttons that say Hot Bastard and who wouldn't want to wear a button that says Hot Bastard?" So this chick in the front row said, "Who would want to wear that?". Totally sassy. Just because I have a microphone and sound louder than you doesn't mean I can't hear you. I can so let's keep it classy. I will not hesitate to go back to my punk rock roots on your ass.