My nerdly pursuits

It was when I began learning quantum physics that my faith in hard science faltered for the first time. At some point I realized that everything was just a guess on where particles might possibly be. I lost a bit of faith and decided to stay away from physics and veer more towards biology. My thought at the time was that I couldn't base my life on what might possibly be true but could also be not true. If it can't be proven, why should I care? I've always been like this, very black and white, but lately I've had to admit that quantum theory is a metaphor for life. You go in with your expectations and best guesses and sometimes they're right and sometimes you need to travel in a big circle and try again. I'm trying to be ok with this idea.

I've got a few new songs that mostly seem concerned with the usual subjects that I love but I've been feeling this undercurrent of other thoughts in there, more universal thoughts about what draws one person to another and what pushes them away. Not just romantically but the big picture, all of your relationships. Because it's kind of like everyone is a magnet but depending on circumstance, you're either pulling someone in or repelling them. I've had this attractive force on my mind. It's made me want to read up on electromagnetic theory and see if I can pull some correlations together.

After I wrote one of my recent songs that ends with a phone call placed to a number that has been disconnected I went out for a walk. I like to take walks when I've got songs in my brain or big thoughts to work out. A lot of my songs are probably the same tempo as my gait. Anyway, in the song, the phone being disconnected stands for the larger disconnect that can happen between people. Out on my walk, I was thinking these "connection/disconnection" thoughts and I passed a weirdo talking to himself. As I passed, he said "those signals, they won't go through anymore. Once they're gone, they're gone. It doesn't come back". It reminded me of the other gentleman who told me about the stars talking to him. I think of these weirdos as antennas, relaying their messages when I draw near. Do these types of things happen to you?

Besides electromagnetic theory, I've also had a desire to learn more about quantum theory. Don't you ever think about what they taught us about atoms and how they're mostly empty space and wonder how we all hold together? Maybe it's just me. I've been thinking about all these things and keep coming across news articles that correspond with my complicated theories about the nature of the universe. Here are some of the articles I've come across:

The Stroke: a woman loses her ability to be too "left brain".
Important quote: ... being unable to tell where the atoms and molecules that comprised her arm stopped and the atoms and molecules that comprised the rest of the world began.

The Experiment: will a giant atom smasher create a black hole?
Important quote: David Francis, a physicist on the collider's huge ATLAS particle detector, smiled when asked whether he worried about black holes and hypothetical killer particles known as strangelets.

The Noise: the earth itself makes noise that we can't hear
Important quote: The sound is awful.

I've been printing these articles out and highlighting the "important" parts. I fear these may be the first, small steps towards becoming a bona fide weirdo myself. But anyway, that's where I am creatively right now. I have hopes to put up some demos of these songs soon.