Doesn't photograph well

Pasted below is a new weapon in my marketing arsenal: press photos. The magnificent paintings behind me (I've been calling them Good and Squirrel vs. Blue Jay) are by an artist named Grant Olsen, who I believe lives in Boise. I tried to stalk Grant in order to find some type of website for him but all I found was an article in which he said he would use some grant money he was awarded for his art to visit the dentist so clearly, he's a man after my own heart.

It's taken forever to get a press photo that I actually like because I don't photograph well. I'm way hotter in real life or at least, that's what my wife tells me and by "tells me" I mean she nods her head when I say it. Seriously though, put me in front of a camera and I'm all gums, double chins and acne scars. Apparently the key is not smiling. I'm ugly when I smile is the lesson I've learned. Anyway, now I've got to print these suckers up and get them in an envelope. The press must know about The Heated.